c o k e l a t

aku tak rasa lagi hilang akan dirimu
aku tak rasa lagi hampa tanpa dirimu
aku telah biasa untuk melepaskannya
aku sudah biasa untuk tanpa dirinya

semua yang telah terjadi biarlah terjadi
semua yang kan terjadi biarkan menjadi
aku telah biasa untuk hadapi semua
aku sudah biasa hadapi segalanya

tak ada lagi sedih untuk kehilanganmu
tak ada lagi tangis untuk dirimu
tak akan ada benci kepadamu
semua tentang dirimu semua telah berlalu

p/s - so untuk kau yang sepatutnya terasa dengan lirik ni, teruskanlah hidup kau tanpa aku. aku tau kau memang tak kisah pasal aku. so takde masalah untuk kau delete semua tentang aku. Aku MOHON, tolong tolong tolong JANGAN CARI aku lagi sebab HATI aku DAH TERTUTUP untuk KAU. ohh aku rase kau tak peduli pun tapi mati la sebab aku peduli. F**K You!

past and future.

well, hari ni rabu, bersamaan dengan 17 november, aku dengan rendah dirinya dah pun lepaskan segala kenangan aku dengan kau. aku selayaknya lepaskan kau. mungkin kau bukan untuk aku. mungkin juga aku perlu beri peluang seseorang untuk menyayangi aku. dan sejujurnya aku pun dah bersedia untuk menyayanginya. aku mulakan hidup baru. mungkin ini hikmahnya tuhan pisahkan aku dengan kau. aku yakin dia jauh lebih memahami aku. aku tak perlukan kesedihan lagi. kau hilanglah selamanya dari hidup aku. aku tenang tanpa kau. terima kasih atas segalanya. aku nak fokus sepenuhnya kat future aku. jangan datang bila kau kecewa nanti sayang sebab kau dah pun terlambat. asta la vista. aku, bekas kau yang tak berguna.

jujur.

sayang, kenapa dengan kau? aku rasa aku yang patot membenci kau tapi kenapa sebaliknya? kenapa nak seksa aku? kau tau tak aku tak tau apa salah aku yang buat kau hukum aku macamni. tolong la faham. bukan kau sorang je yang ade masalah. aku nak settle benda ni cepat. sumpah aku dah tak larat nak pujuk hati sendiri. aku tau kau ade orang lain. sebab tu la aku lepaskan kau. tolong cuba faham kenapa aku nak sangat lepaskan kau. aku lepaskan kau bukan sebab aku dah tak sayang kau. kau patut tau tak mudah untuk aku lepaskan kau. buktinya? kau rimas kan bila selang sehari dua aku text kau? haih la sayang. aku pun tak tau la ape sebenarnya yang kau nak dalam hidup ni. aku dah naek gila dah ni. tolong la weh. aku nak settle semua ni cepat. aku dah tak larat nak tanggung derita ni weh. bagi aku peluang untuk tau ape masalah kau sebenarnye. tolong lah aku doe. tolong. aku tau kau benci aku tapi aku tetap sayang kau. memang aku bodoh tapi tak kisah la. demi kau. aku tak sabar nak lupakan kau.

I am an ASSHOLE.

I knew I let you down.
I broke all your trusts.
I hurt you and left you in pain.
I ignored you and assumed that you're doing good.
BUT,
I really need to know do you really love me?
Do you really need me?
or am I doing it alone?
Because if it so, I'll leave.
It's not that I don't love you.
But I can't see you in pain anymore.
And I want you to know that it hurts me too.
And yes, I wish I could turn back time.
Trust me, I never thought of hurting you.
That would be the very last thing I would do to you.
I rather leave alone.
So if you wish to go, just go.
Never look back and feel sorry for me.
I will always love you.
Do you hear me sayang?
I LOVE YOU.
and yes I really miss you sayang.
I'm sorry for everything.
Jealousy is a major part of me.
I know its hard to understand me.
I'm not asking much.
Just ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM.
nahh it doesn't matter anymore kan? its okay.
Take care sayang!

p e n a t.

Aku dah penat dengan segala permainan kau. bila kau nak sedar permainan kau ni akan buat kau kecewa? aku harap kau sedar secepat mungkin. aku tak nak teruskan permainan ni. aku letih. mungkin aku patot hentikan semua ni. aku harap kau tak menyesal.

I'm TAKEN. And you?

How do you feel when someone leave his girlfriend for you? Will you feel proud? Or maybe unhappy for destroying a relationship? Don't you feel that he might do the same to you? Or maybe you're the one who does the karma? Well I guess it won't happen if you know how to appreciate what you have. And the most important thing is don't ever try to fool others. If you don't feel what they feel, you better be honest or else you're not doing anything good but will just break their hearts. Think twice before drawing the conclusion. Be smart on love.

empty.

Mungkin dulu aku selalu menangis sebab kau.
Mungkin aku pernah merasa sakit untuk melepaskan kau.
Mungkin aku lemah tanpa kau.
Mungkin aku tak pernah bahagiakan kau.
Mungkin seringkali aku sakiti kau.
Mungkin kau anggap aku tak menghargai segala pengorbanan kau.
Mungkin kau rasa kasih sayang mudah aku tabur kepada semua.
Mungkin benar kata kau aku tak setia.
Tapi,
Pernahkah kau fikir apa yang aku rasa?
Pernahkah kau mencuba untuk fahami diri aku?
Pernahkah kau nampak kesalahan yang aku lakukan sengaja?
Pernahkah kau letakkan diri kau ditempat aku?
Pernahkah kau cuba menjadi aku?
Apa pun jawapan kau,
Aku ingin kau tahu,
Aku bahagia bersama kau.
Aku hargai pengorbanan kau.
Aku mungkin jahat.
Tapi segala perbuatan aku bersebab.
Aku setia dengan perasaan aku pada kau.
Tapi maafkan aku andai aku katakan,
sayangku telah pudar, kasihku hancur musnah.
Tinggalkan aku dan pergilah bersamanya.
Aku yakin dia mampu buat kau bahagia.

Everything happened for a reason? Perhaps.

It's quite challenging for me to go through todays' life. It's started around 2 pm in Audit class. Sir Abu Thaher seems like aiming me since he always called my name and complaining all that I'm about to do. Its like everything that I'm doing will be torturing him. I cant wait for the class to end. Once the class ended, I rushed to room U314 for the next lesson. My friend, Yanie, was trying to play joke with me. She pulled my bag when we both were climbing the stairs to the third floor. And suddenly something happened which caused Yanie to feel guilty. She's about to cry. *cute kot dia :P* Hm, then I can't answer a very simple quiz question. What a waste. *kalau tau baek aku ponteng kelas :D* I got the lowest for the first test. Hmm. Aha! This is the best part of my day. Oh, I mean my BAD DAY. While learning on capital budgeting, my friend, Qaja, text me. She asked me to call her. I called her and she told me that there's something happened to my Kelisa. Someone smashed the window. I dont think so that someone's doing it intentionally. I think it's done by someone unintentionally. but its okay. Mum told me that God's fair and will always be watching for you. Think about it. Its all in your hand to decide. :)

Thank YOU.

Have you ever imagined the one you loved cheated on you?

Do you really need to hurt the one who trusted you?

Have you ever tried to feel the pain of those you cheated on?

Do you strong enough to face the same?

I bet you can't answer those questions.

Not until you feel it.

I'm not saying that you're going to feel it.

But I guess karma is always there.

Especially for liar like you.

I can't forgive myself for loving you.

I hate myself for being a little too not over you.

I don't know why I have to think about you.

Especially when I knew you don't.

But I know I'm going to be okay.

This won't be long.

All that I need to say is, be careful.

He might give you all those shit.

Right back to your innocent face.

Have a nice day YOU!